Reimagining My Life

Reimagining My Life. That is what this blog is all about -- how I went from loss of loved ones to starting over and how I did it and where I am now. I believed more than anything that I could start over, I just did not know how or where to do it. My epiphany came in the dead of night while I was sleeping -- I woke with a start, sat straight up and told myself I was going to move to Florida, then I went back to sleep. Only thing was was when morning came, I started to put the epiphany into action. I started cleaning out the house, purging and reorganizing. I called a realtor to come to my house to see what I needed to do to ready the house for sale, and I started looking at property online in Florida.

And I made a list of what I wanted to do with my life -- work on crafts, write, and travel. Small list.

Timewise, it took me about four years to have the epiphany. Prior to that time, I wandered the house, trying to figure out my next step. As I researched this article, I found that I was actually within the timeframe it takes someone to change his life. According to a Forbes.com article, "Jane Pauley's 5 Essential Reinvention Tips" by Nancy Collamer dated January 16, 2014, Heraminia Ibarra, author of Working Identity said that it takes a person approximately three years to make a midlife transition. It went on to say that Jane Pauley took four years to make the reimagined trip.

And that is what I am in -- midlife. Hey, I'm a boomer, and remember, us boomers are reimagining or restructuring what retirement looks like. I really have a sneaky feeling we are going to do this until the day we die, and then we will probably reimagine or restructure how and why we die. Since my health is very good, the only thing I can tell is different from being 30 or 40 is it may take me a bit longer to do something. Sometimes, not all the time. My mind, my goals, my thinking skills, my everything is the same as when I was chronologically younger. And I guess if I really had to go faster, I would. It's just I don't have to be on the roller coaster any longer. I can finally stop and smell the roses before I proceed. That is a gift.

So. What is reimagining your life. It's all about living your dreams, your passions. It's taking stock of your relationships and your priorities. The last is so, so important to me. My priorities. I figure I have a good 20 years left to do all I want to achieve in this life. And I looked back at my life and found that it does not really take that long to amass the small fortune once you are focused. (And, no I do not have even a small fortune -- it was not one of my priorities -- ever! but I had the money to retire.) I timed myself on what I could do in a minute, in five minutes, in a half hour, when I was focused and persistent, and found that I could accomplish anything and have time left over. So, 20 years is a lot of years to do everything I want to do.

I have no desire to go back to school for credit (I have 12 years of college work) but I would take a course in astronomy for fun, but not now, it's not that important to me. But for some, it may have been a goal -- to get a bachelor's degree. I say, if that is what your dream was, go for it. You can. Believe it. You can.

The crafts were important to me, but they are really losing their appeal after doing the ceramics for two years. The glass art work, no, because it is new. But I can see changes down the road for crafts.

So, for me it is the writing, which is becoming a business and taking more and more of my time. I love it, I dream about my stories, I write my stories in my head before they go on paper. I research the details of my stories. But, the business is not about the writing, that is the creative part; writing is a business with publicity and book signings and web pages and twitter and snapchat and blogs and indie publishing and speaking engagements, etc., etc., etc. Then, a nephew suggested a business for my other blog on Wordpress (Miswordsdotcom.wordpress.com) about idioms. To actually start a business doing skype classes for those who live in other countries and want to learn about our language. Then, there is becoming a personal historian for people. And I want to put together a newsletter for another nephew and I have volunteered to write a newsletter for the association I belong to. It's all writing; it's all about the words. And that is being defined as the days go by. But right now I am learning how to publish on line (my first book should be available within 8 weeks!!!!)

My other goal is travel. From this blog, you can see where I have gone in the past two years. There have been some incredible trips, and I have more in store. But, there are also the day trips and the one-night stopovers in and around Florida. There is so, so much to see and do here. And we always have perfect or near perfect weather, which is a big plus.

You will be going on my journey -- my 14th Chapter of my life -- with me. The crafts as I finish them, the writing updates, and the travels, lots and lots of pictures of travel.

Those are real for me right now in this 14th chapter. I took a chance, a risk by selling most everything and venturing to a land where I did not have a home or people to know. I know that I will take more chances, more risks because I am ready.

Are you? If you are stuck in a rut, reimagine what you want your life to be, then put one foot in front of another and do it. Remember, it takes a good 3 or 4 years to make that decision.

Until Wednesday...have a great day.,,

Making Nona's Cheesecake

Traveling further in S. Carolina for the holidays, I also stayed with a niece and her family near Columbia. It is my usual stay for the holiday season, but during this season, Sam, my great-nephew, made his first cheesecake from my sister's recipe. He did a fantastic job and it was better than good.

Sam's mother explains the beginning steps to him as they start making the cheesecake. (Recipe is below)

After all the ingredients are mixed together, Sam pours the batter into the spring form pan.

We just might have another baker in the family. He seemed to enjoy the process and definitely was proud of his finished piece.

After the cheesecake was out of the oven and cooled, we all had to have a piece.

As you can see below, the consistency of the cheesecake was superb! and the graham cracker crust topped off the tasty dish.

If you would like to try Nona's Cheesecake, here is the recipe:

1/2 c. margarine -- melted
1/4 c. sugar
2 c. graham cracker crumbs

Combine these three ingredients and press into an ungreased 10 inch spring form pan.

preheat oven to 325 degrees.

2 pounds cream cheese
4 eggs
1 c. and 2 Tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/2 c. sour cream
1/4 c. sugar
1 teaspoon lemon juice

In large mixing bowl, beat cream cheese until smooth. Add eggs, 1 c. and 2 T. sugar, vanilla -- continue beating until well blended. Pour mixture over crust.
Bake 1 hour and 10 minutes or until set in the middle.
Cool for 20 minutes,
Now, combine remaining ingredients (sour cream, 1/4 c. sugar, lemon juice) and spread over top of cake.
Chill at least 4 hours.

Enjoy!

Just a tidbit of information about my sister. She lived and worked in Myrtle Beach, S. Carolina for years, and while there, she worked for the newspaper. At one time she had a cooking column at the paper and she came up with some wonderful recipes. This recipe has come to be known as Nona's Cheesecake, but her notes say, "Sheraton's Famous Cheesecake"

I could have ate the entire cheesecake!

Until next week...have a good one...

Hilton Head Island, South Carolina.

Hilton Head Island in S. Carolina was one of my stopping points during my Christmas travels. I have two nephews and their families who live and work there, and it is always a nice place to visit. I have stayed at their house, or have rented a condo for an extended stay, or stayed in a hotel for a day or two. This time, I stayed at the Holiday Inn Beach House, and it was very reasonable in price (off-season) with a great room and a great location -- on the beach.

I thought I would simply show you around Hilton Head.

 These photos here are at the Holiday Inn. Nice lazy river pool, huh! but it was too cold to go into.

To my right is the view from my room. What a great way to wake up in the morning.

People walk the beach in the early part of the day (low tide) looking for sea shells that have washed up on the beach.

You can usually find a volleyball net set up and ready to be used.

But what I really enjoyed was the sign --
it reads..."only turtles permitted beyond this point.


I have been here so many times that I kinda know the area. I will give you a tip. If you are driving in on 278 from I-95, and if you are headed to the beach, do NOT take the expressway where you have to pay the toll. Save the money by going on business 278 (which means stay to the right) and you will arrive at the beach area. This island is small -- 12 miles long and 5 miles wide.

It does get very crowded in the summer, so be prepared if you go then. You will have a long ride getting onto the island. Off-season, though, all is a breeze.

One area that I really enjoy when I visit is the Coligny Beach area. From the street, you walk on a cobbled area where there is seating and swings to enjoy the people watching. The cobbled area opens up to a boarded path until you hit the sand. I just like this area, but there are plenty of beach areas, namely Forest Beach, Burkes Beach, Driessen Beach, and Folly Field Beach. But, to me, Coligny is in the middle of everything. But, that's me.

I had to show a picture of this extra large tree that is at the entrance of Coligny Beach. I like trees.

Hilton Head is really about the vegetation. The entire island is lined with trees and vegetation along the thoroughfare, and it does take some getting used to to know where anything is. Most businesses are hidden from view due to the greenery. But, it is beautiful.

Here is simply a scene of a street. And they all look like this.

If I had a ton of money I would live right here, steps from the Atlantic Ocean.

I found a chocolate shop on the island because she had the sign on the mailbox on the road. Never would have guessed it would have been there if not for the sign. Of course, I had to buy some.

And if you are a bike enthusiast or triathlete, you should visit Go Tri Sports. My nephew owns this shop that specializes in bikes and shoes. But he also hosts many, many running events on the island for both adults and children. 

The picture on the right is my artistic ability of his logo as I made him a mug. 

If you decide to visit Hilton Head, there is much to do in the surrounding area, also. I have been to Parris Island, which is a U.S. Marine Recruitment Depot. I was allowed on the base to go to the museum there, and I must say, I was impressed. 

Then, Savannah is about 45 minutes away, and Charleston is about 2 hours away. Tons to do in either of these towns.

Yes, Hilton Head is a great place to go. And stay for awhile. And keep going back to. As my nephew says, "This is Paradise." Pretty close, I would say.

Until tomorrow...have a great day...

Resilience

Resilience -- the ability to recover from setbacks or to easily adjust when faced with misfortune.

Easier said than done, to be resilient, or is it something that is simply part of the personality, of who we are. And what makes this characteristic different from being able to bounce back after a misfortune?

In my 14th Journey, I ask myself so many questions. I have survived so much in life, and I bounce back each time. Sometimes the bounce is automatic, sometimes it takes me a bit of time to get that bounce back, but I do.

An example. As anyone knows who has been following this blog from the beginning, I lost  three major players in my life within 9 months of each other and the fourth person a year after that. These people were my immediate family and the man I loved. I was lost. Really lost, and I did not think I would ever bounce back, be able to go on. But I did with time. That is when I moved from one state to another and started over in Florida. Where it is warm 99% of the time.

But, being in the lost years (four altogether) was a process. I started out wandering the halls of my house to finally moving on to tutor a young man to finally moving myself to where I am today. I knew I had to go on. Within the grief and torment, I still had goals, and I also knew that death is a part of reality. Mine just happened to happen one after another, which sometimes happen. I was struggling with the meaning of life being totally alone. An orphan and a widow in one instance.

Now. Another example. Years ago, there was this woman who was a friend of a friend and her son committed suicide. Beyond horror. Awful experience. She was married and had another child at home, but when her son committed suicide, the woman quit. She was a nurse, and she could not work; instead, she stayed inside day after day that turned into year after year. She could not respond to her daughter nor her husband. She would not go to counseling or see anyone. She quit talking to her friends, and the only person she talked to was her mother. Her husband finally left her (did not divorce her, but moved to New Mexico) and her daughter followed him.

I am not making light of this tragic event, not by a long shot. But she quit living when he quit living, at the expense of all the other people who surrounded her and loved her. To this day, the last I heard was that she still sits in her house, alone -- for what, I do not know.

So, what is the difference between the first and second example. Resilience. Seeing life half full instead of half empty. No matter what.

I have always been an optimist. When I was a child, my father died young. I have missed him all my life, but I did not look at his death as the end all. I so remember going to the river (we lived by the river) and saying at least daddy would not see wars or famine or people fighting. I was 8. Where in the world did this come from? but it did. Being without a father made me very strong, very independent. I learned young to believe in only myself, I was the one who would or could. No one else. My mistakes are mine, my successes are mine. I blame no one nor do I praise any one. I knew who my self was and no one was going to take that away from me. His death taught me those characteristics.

My youth also brought many friends (because I am adaptable and I try very hard not to judge anyone for anything) and most of those friends I have carried throughout life.

Mostly, though, I have always had a sense of purpose. True, when I was very young, my purpose was to go to school (not for learning but because that was where my friends were, and the learning was secondary). But, as I learned those school subjects, I also learned that I had goals and a purpose in life and as I have lived this life, I have found that goals and purposes change with time and fulfilling (or not) goals and purposes. That's life.

While I was researching this topic, one sentence came to life for me -- with resilience comes a greater sense of control over live, and once we have control with our life, we are able to take more risks. And the more risks we take, the more successful we become. It's an ever evolving circle.

Finally, if you would like to learn a bit more about resilience, I found an excellent article in the Harvard Business Review titled "What Resilience Means and Why it Matters" by Andrea Ovans, January 5, 2015. She quotes from Diane Coutu in her "How Resilience Works" three characteristics resilient people possess:
1. a staunch acceptance of reality
2. a deep belief that life is meaningful
3. an uncanny ability to improvise

Further, the article stated that you can bounce back after a misfortune with one or two of these qualities, but if you possess all three, you have resilience.

And it can be learned.

If you are having difficulty going forward after a misfortune, whatever it is, please investigate this further and work toward making that next step.

One more example. A little one. There was a time when the country was in a severe recession, and work was hard to find. I had just finished my master's degree and had lost my job that put me through school due to the company moved out of state. I was frantic. Scared. And after a long search, did not see a bright spot in my horizon. But, I did find a job and I survived. But I learned from that experience. Once I got beyond the job search, I promised myself I would never go through that again, so I sat down with paper and pen and wrote all the things I could do for myself if I was ever out of a job again. And I kept it in a drawer. The inevitable happened again, and this time I was prepared. Instead of looking at doom and gloom, I focused on what I could do for myself to improve while I looked for another job. And this time, the time unemployed was so much easier. And I found a job much quicker!

Until Wednesday...have a great day...